Left-handed Schmeft-handed

If we humans had a rating system for how humorous we were, just on the basis of how we classify just about everything, and develop our world on the basis of that alone, I think we humans would be considered clowns. You see, we take just about everything that you can think of into account for serious purposes. For example, we often get shaken up by differences in religious beliefs, and often do things like wage wars because of just that. Some will even consider themselves better than everyone else just because, say, they are wealthy. In the most rooted sense, are those sorts of classifications really as important as they’re often portrayed? I vote no, but that’s just my opinion. But we do build our world on the basis of more practical classifications, too. For instance, we design public restrooms to separate the guys from the girls, for obvious reasons. But there are some classifications out there that, though not big in principle, are annoying with the environment that we’ve developed, simply because we don’t design environments to accommodate those smaller classifications in the first place at all. One of which I’d like to discuss is the classification of being left-handed.

Being left-handed can really be annoying sometimes. At school, for one, there are so many complications that arise just because of being left-handed. First off, I always have to watch myself whenever I write in ink on a paper – I have to be careful not to smear the ink all over the place. Then there comes scissors, oh yes, scissor, the one tool that should practically be segregated from left-handed people. You see, scissors are so annoying because the sizes of the holes meant to accommodate the fingers of a right-handed person of are the exact opposite of a lefty’s finger orientation. The result? I have to squeeze two of my fingers through the tiny little whole designed for the thumb. Boy is it a pain! Next there comes other people. You see, many interactions, such as handshakes, are done right-handed –style, so I have to constantly remind myself to pull out my right hand when, say, greeting someone. Sometimes I forget to do so and often make a fool of myself. Boy are those events embarrassing! Then there are other hand-eye activities that are really annoying when it comes to left-handedism. You know what I mean, left-handers. Remember when you were taught by someone who’s right-handed something that is rather complex to do with your hands, like snapping? You know how you have to mirror it in your head? It’s so freaking irritating to do. Because of this, I actually had the longest time of not knowing how to snap the fingers on my left hand, simply because I was never taught so. There are so many other things that come up from day-to-day that are incredibly annoying if you’re, like someone whose right-handed constantly bumping into you when you sit side-by-side with them, or using a computer with a right-handed mouse. Though I’ve overcome all of these things, I still, once again, find these pretty aggravating. I wish there were developments that could accommodate left-handedism - oh wait - now there are!

It seems now that those common problems with being left-handed are beginning to cease. For example, various companies are beginning to produce left-handed scissors, as well as right handed ones. There are also left-handed baseball gloves, too – which I do find very helpful. There are even left-handed desks out there. I felt so happy when I heard about these things. But you know what’s funny? Instead of making me feel more comfortable as a left-handed person, it actually made me want to do something entirely new – resort to a more right-handed lifestyle.

The reason why I am doing so is because I figured that if I could have some pleasures of being right-handed via left-handed products, why not get all of the joys of right-handers? So, resorting to right-handedism is exactly what I’m going to start fizzling in to my life from now on. Already, I’m beginning to take notes in my history class with my right hand. Though it looks like a 3^rd grader wrote it, it is still legible – and getting better. Wish me luck, left-handers!